Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is not mine; it belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki. However, plot and all original characters are mine so, be nice and ask permission before borrowing. Also, I acknowledge Maigo-chan's invaluable online translations. In fact, I directly quoted most of Heishin's speech from her site. Author's Notes: This fic is dedicated to all who asked for a continuation of "Jinchuu". To Miyu Sakura who really cemented the idea of a sequel in my head, I hope this lives up to your expectations. Enjoy. Thoughts denoted by '' Spoiler warnings for volumes 25 onwards. However, original parts of this fic offer explanations as to why certain things happened/were said in the manga. My Answer Monologue: Enishi And I don't understand How the touch of your hand... I would be the one to fall --Sarah Mclachlan, Sweet Surrender He was here, I knew it even before Wu Heishin came charging in, wrecking my tormented peace of mind. I knew what I had to do, what I must do. Nothing could change the course of a destiny I had charted out for myself. But now there was something else to consider, someone else. She had ceased being a thing to me even before I was aware of it. And two nights ago...Oh God...I dared not think of it especially when Battousai was so close. I needed all my concentration. Kaoru... "If you wish to end your personal feud, now's the time. If not when the rest of the police..." It took a conscious effort to control myself. The man's blathering irritated me to no end and even his four bodyguards could see that. They actually tensed, ready to strike when all I did was simply push my glasses up my nose. Fools. I wanted them off my island, out of my sight before they wasted any more precious time. "Heishin!" I didn't bother looking at him. I never did like him anyway. "Irregardless of whatever happens this day, my score will be settled once and for all. Although it is a little early, I'm giving you the organisation as of this moment. So..." I paused slightly, letting him absorb this news. For years he had been secretly longing to hear it, practically salivating. He would have killed me to get it if he did not fear me as much as he did. "Get out of my sight." "What? Why are you doing-" "You're bothering me." And that was the honest truth. I should have known it would not be enough to shut him up. " ... I can't do that. We'll part ways today, but the fact that as of today you're in charge isn't going to go away. If you're defeated and taken by the police, that will naturally have a great effect on the organization. I'm not going to sit back and accept a house of cards. Until the police force and your personal matter are dealt with, I can't inherit your position. If I withdraw now-" Rage swept through me. How dare he presume to doubt my ability, my resolution! It was an insult to Tomoe's memory, to my life's work. I would not fail her now as I failed her then. I wouldn't...I wouldn't... "Heishin," I said, my voice silky smooth, every tone and nuance perfectly controlled. "Do you suspect that there is even the smallest chance that I might lose?" At that moment I looked up at him and pleasure curled within me at the horrified look on his face. For I knew well what he saw in mine. "You will disappear this moment or I will destroy you myself." He stood there, paralysed with fear, his lips twitching as he tried to speak, sweat rolling down his face as I continued to hold him in my gaze. One more word of argument and I would cut him down without even having to rise from my seat. I leaned forward a little and enunciated clearly. "Get. Out. Now." He continued standing there, like a rat caught in the gaze of a cat. I blinked, breaking the spell and immediately he stuttered his acquiescence. When he was finally gone, I closed my eyes. All was quiet and I was once more left alone with her. Nee-san. I had not seen her since that day when I realised that it would take more than my earthly vengeance to bring back her smile. But I knew she was with me. She was always with me, always in my mind. ...Except for that night... "No," I snapped, my eyes springing open. "That was Jinchuu, it was." ...Liar... "Shut up!" I practically shouted, storming to my feet. Even then I could feel the memories surging forward, threatening to break the barriers I had put up. Skin on skin, gentle kisses and a human touch so warm I wanted it more than I ever thought possible... "It was revenge," I told myself over and over until the words sunk into my head. It would be betrayal to believe that Kaoru could for one moment replace Tomoe, in my life or in Battousai's. She was nothing like my sister. Nothing. What had taken place between us was simply a part of my plan. But the look of hurt and shame in her eyes when I refused to speak to her or even remain in the same room as her after that night haunted me even now. I stood outside her door, strange feelings stirring within as I looked at the smooth wood and thought of the woman behind it. My original intention had been to bring her out to the beach with me, so that Battousai could see her and I could finish him fairly, without him being riddled with worries for her. But now I found myself reconsidering that course of action. I didn't want to take her out of the house. Hell, I didn't even want her out of that room. To my surprise, I realised that I was feeling possessive. That same jealousy that I felt over Tomoe I was experiencing again with Kaoru. Only this time it was different, stronger. With my sister I had been afraid that she would ignore me in favour of another man, that I would lose the only mother I had ever known. But with Kaoru...Suddenly the thought of Battousai or any other man coming near her was unbearable. 'She's mine.' Before I knew what I was doing, the key was suddenly in my hand and I had locked her door. 'Yukishiro Enishi, you fool...' I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. What was I doing? I had to let her go. Just then the door shuddered on its hinges as Kaoru furiously knocked on it. I couldn't help but smile a little at her bossy tones as she demanded to be let out. Yes, she was certainly nothing like my sister. "Open this door! Hey! Since when was my door ever locked?! O-" I winced as I made the mistake of opening the door too quickly and too soon. 'Sorry Kaoru,' I thought as I watched her clutching her forehead and nose while huge blue eyes glared accusingly at me. Then, awkwardness settled between us and she quickly lowered her gaze. To cover up my own discomfort I tossed the soft bundle I was carrying to her. "Get changed," I ordered brusquely. "Come out when you are ready." She looked surprised and I wondered if she would like the kimono I had picked out for her. It was white, with red flowers and lining and a striped blue-black obi. She would look nice in it, I thought, eyeing her. "That voice just now...It was Kenshin, wasn't it?" she asked hesitantly. Battousai. Once more jealousy and hatred for him flooded me and I smirked at her. "Yes, it was. To think he has come all the way here just so that I can finish him." And then I laughed. The anxiety and worry that flashed over her face stung me to the quick and I got out before she could say another word. Let her think I was being cruel. Somehow that was better than letting her think that I cared. ..................................... "Mou! Wait for me! Enishi!" "Can't you walk faster than that?" "I'm wearing sandals and this ground is too sandy!" Kaoru furiously scolded as she tried her best to keep up with me. To be fair, I was walking a lot faster than was necessary. It seemed imperative that we get to the beach as soon as possible. I refused to acknowledge the possibility that it was because I was afraid I would change my mind about her. "Enishi! Wait -ahh!" I caught her before she hit the ground. It was the worst possible thing that could have happened just before my final fight with Battousai. Kaoru's scent enveloped me and she felt warm as spring in my arms. Alive. She made me feel alive. That thought frightened me so much I almost dropped her before she managed to regain her balance. "Watch where you're going," I said as coldly as possible and she flinched. "I...What is wrong with you?" Her voice trembled. "Why are you treating me like this?" "And just how do you expect me to treat you?" I sneered, my voice dripping with disdain. She could not fail to hear the unsaid implications beneath those words. Kaoru whitened visibly and then her hand crashed into the side of my face as she slapped me as hard as she could. I saw that blow coming a mile away but I let her hit me. In my heart I knew I deserved it. "How dare you?" she seethed. "Very well. The other night was a mistake. I let you into my bed, like-like some cheap prostitute and now I see it's your way of getting back at me. This is the only way you can hurt me, isn't it?" She was beginning to cry but she brushed the tears aside almost violently. "I hope you are happy now," she whispered and started to walk past me. I should have left it there, should have let her think that. I needed focus, to be calm, to be centred in my hatred for Battousai. That was what gave strength to my sword, to my spirit. A troublesome girl with an unexplainable hold over me could tip the balance in my disfavour. But I couldn't let her go this way. I lashed out and catching hold of her hand, pulled her to me and wrapped my arms around her. "Let me go! Let me go!" she cried and her nails dug into my sides as she tried to make me release her. "You know that's not true Kaoru. You aren't cheap and it wasn't a mistake. Not for me." We both froze as that last part escaped me before I could help it. The sound of our breathing seemed to fill the surroundings and for a short while, we stood there, in a private world of our own beneath the trees with the sound of the ocean in the distance. "Then why...?" "I don't know," I said softly. "I don't know." She was quiet and I just held her, hating my weakness but not being able to do anything about it. Or maybe I didn't want to do anything about it. 'I don't know why I went to you that night. I thought I did but...' Jinchuu. It was supposed to have been Jinchuu. I had tried to convince myself that it was a form of revenge but it wasn't. And now I didn't want to think about what it truly meant to me. "Don't go Enishi. Don't fight Kenshin." I started to push her away but she clung onto me. "You'll lose everything if you go." "It's because I've lost everything that I must go," I replied bitterly. "Don't you see? Battousai's taken away everything that ever meant something to me. My sister, my home, my family..." "You'll lose more than that if you do go. If Kenshin defeats you, you'll lose your purpose in life itself. Please don't..." As always, talk of my defeat angered me like nothing else. Narrowing my eyes, I glared down at her. "Are you so sure he will win? Or do you want me to lose that badly?" For a moment she was speechless. Then tears came to her eyes and she touched my cheek. "I don't want either of you to lose. But we both know my place is with Kenshin." So she did care. But it was Battousai she loved. Taking her hand from my cheek, I laced my fingers through hers, looking at our hands. And I knew then that I didn't want to let her go. And I didn't have to either. "In any case, I cannot withdraw from this battle. I cannot." "You mean you will not," she said sadly. "Perhaps you're right. However, Kaoru, I'll tell you this now. If Battousai does defeat me, then you may go back with him. But if not, you'll stay with me." "What?! No-" "You heard me," I said, deliberately hardening my voice as I released her. "You will stay with me unless Battousai himself can take you back. I know your friends are here, amongst them are Sagara and that policeman Saitou but don't imagine that I can't handle them. I can and I will." She was still standing there with her mouth open when I began walking off. "Enishi, wait!" But this time I wouldn't. I was right, I had to fight this battle and win. If I didn't, I would lose everything. ................................ The gunshot startled both of us. Blood erupted from Battousai's shoulder and he was flung back, sliding in the sand. 'What the hell--?' Our fight was far from over, far from settled. He may have broken my sword but I was still on my feet. And I was not finished. 'Heishin...' I thought I had knocked him unconscious for at least the next three hours. He shouldn't be up on his feet. And where had he gotten those guns? He must have hidden them on his person. I hadn't even realised that he had been armed. 'Stupid bastard,' I cursed furiously. 'Battousai is mine, not yours to kill. How dare you-' "You think you can mock me? I'll kill you all!" He raised his guns and started levelling them at Battousai who was still lying on the sand. "No! Watch out!" Kaoru! To my horror she ran and leapt unthinkingly in Heishin's path, right in the way of the bullets that would be fired at any minute. At that moment my head swam and I was a child once more, watching from behind the trees as my sister was cut in twain by a man I was powerless to stop. Vision clouded my eyes and for a split second I saw Tomoe superimposed above Kaoru. Both their arms were outstretched to protect the man they loved. The man they loved...my sister had died for the love of Battousai... Not again. I wouldn't let it happen. Not to Kaoru. Not to me. Not again. Battousai might not be able to protect her but I could. Faster than I ever moved before in my life I sped to Heishin, the ground fairly flying under my feet. But at that time all I could see was him, this man who was going to kill a woman who was important to me. The impact on my fist barely registered as I punched him and he flew back. Red coloured my vision and in my mind all I wanted was his death. Kaoru screamed for me to stop but in the end it was Battousai who stopped me; Battousai, his convictions, and his thanks for saving Kaoru. But more than anything else it was the revelation that I'd had seconds before. My sister had died protecting this man because she had loved him, more than life itself. This was the answer I had asked her for but which she could not give me. And she hadn't given it to me because she had known I would not have accepted it. On that snowy day watching her die in the arms of Battousai, I knew deep inside that she had loved him and I had spent my whole life denying, warping and twisting her sacrifice until it became murder by his hands. What Kaoru had done had stripped away my lies. And now I knew why Tomoe would not smile at me. I fell to my knees, felt the sand grinding into my wounds and hot tears came to my eyes. As my vengeance dissolved and melted I felt myself unravelling. All these years it had been the one thing that kept me going, that kept my sister's memory alive and fresh in my mind. And she was fading, even now...because I finally understood, that no matter what I did, no matter who I killed or saved, Tomoe was gone. Forever. 'No, damn it... The one I truly wanted to protect...the one I wanted to save was..." .............................................. 'Was you, Nee-san. In saving Kaoru I almost believed that I'd saved you. But I'm glad I saved her anyway.' With tender care Enishi stroked the worn cover of the diary. Once upon a time his sister's hands had touched this as she wrote her most treasured memories inside. It had been a month and a half since he had come to Rakuminmura, a broken man clutching the truths of the past in his hands. Although Enishi knew what he would find inside, he still couldn't bear to bring himself to read it yet. He needed time to ready himself, to read anew what he had already learnt on the sandy shores of his island fortress: That he had spent his entire life trying to undo what Tomoe had done of her own free will. For a while he had been furious with her for giving her life for Battousai without sparing a thought for him, her brother. But even now Enishi realised how absurd it was to be angry over that. Suddenly a lot of things that had once been important now seemed ridiculous. 'Kaoru was right. I have lost my purpose in life. I don't even know what to do, where to go.' He had no home, no friends, no beliefs. His world had crumbled and now he was here, in the land of the forsaken trying to pick himself up again. He could see the gateway that led in and out of Rakuminmura. It seemed terribly far away to him. Tuneless whistling broke through his reverie and he looked over to see that the man called Oibore was sitting down beside him. The first time they met, Enishi had had the oddest feeling that he had known him once before. And now there was the disturbing suspicion that the stranger who spoke so sensibly and kindly to him was none other than the father he had deserted. But the old man never pressed him for anything and Enishi was not ready to make any acknowledgements of that kind either. Living from day to day was all that he could do. "I have some news from the outside world." "I think you'll tell me whether I'm interested or not," Enishi said impassively and Oibore laughed. The songbirds were descending on him in a flock of music and feathers. None of them would go near Enishi. "I heard that Himura Kenshin got married today. He used to stay here for a while, you know. But it just goes to show that a man still can walk out of here and find himself a new life. When he is ready to, that is." Oibore watched intently for his son's reaction. Enishi never even twitched a muscle but his eyes shone with an odd light. For a moment, Oibore was reminded of Tomoe, and how her face was a mask to which her eyes were rarely windows to. 'My poor children, but at least somehow, I've managed to do something for the both of you.' Then something happened that completely took the old man's breath away and gave him hope. The corners of Enishi's mouth turned up in a smile that could only be described as wistful yet...happy. "I'm glad," he murmured in a barely audible voice. 'I'm glad for your sake, Kaoru. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want you by my side but you were right. Your place is with him, not with me.' His hands stroked the diary once more. She had given it to him just before they parted for the last time. In his more whimsical moments he likened it to a farewell present, just like the kimono he had given her. But that was all in the past. Life had gone on for Kaoru and one day, it would go on for him. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Comments: For some reason I am totally riddled with doubts about the quality of this story. I have a plot but getting it out is killing. I had to reread all the volumes with Enishi in it because I needed to know more about him and his frame of mind, how was I going to handle the dynamics between him, Kaoru and Tomoe etc. I hope Enishi is not OOC or at least not too much. Enishi experts, if there are some things that truly bug you, email and let me know, please.