Standard disclaimers: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do. Author's comments to reviews: I don't care about correct history in this chapter, I know it is wrong and I don't want to be flamed for that! Please keep comments about that down! I like the Ishinshishi, really, this is a concession to the story-line and the character-development, again: I DON'T CARE! FICTION! I'm convinced that the wives of the Shinsengumi lived outside Kyoto with their children exactly for the reason I describe here, this story only works with these concessions. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'll be your loverman! Till the bitter end While empires burn down, forever and ever and ever and ever Amen, I'm your loverman So help me, baby, So help me Cause I am what I am what I am what I am I'm your loverman words by Nick Cave ('loverman') ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CHAPTER13: BATTLEFIELDS 2 When I re-gained consciousness I was lying on a futon in our room, by the incident sunbeams I could tell that it was late in the afternoon. I was alone, beside me was a tray with tea, soup and some rice on it, I tried to sit up, but the pain in the lower part of my body forced me down while closing my eyes. I heard the shouji opening, someone approached and sat down beside me, by the smell I could tell it was Hajime, no chance for him to get rid of this cigarette smell. He laid a hand behind my back, helped me up and tried to give me some tea. Forcing myself to open my eyes and smile consumed a lot of my energy but I was rewarded with a smile on his face. "You look horrible, Tokio." That was exactly the greeting I had expected, he must have realised that I was too weak to answer, but now I grinned. "You lost a huge amount of blood, you will have to stay in bed for a while to recover." I nodded in response to indicate that I was understanding him. "The girls will look after you the next time." He would leave? That shocked me, he must have seen it and continued "I'll come back. Just relax and re-gain strength." "Thank you." I finally managed to answer and let myself fall back into the relaxing, comforting rest of sleep. The sunbeams of a late afternoon fell into the room when I woke up the second time, this time the two girls were around. How long had I been lying here? I took the chance and addressed the two, I felt surprisingly refreshed and sat up. "How long have I been sleeping?" They looked astonished at me, I caught them by surprise with my sudden movements, I didn't felt the pain in the lower part of my body anymore, it had vanished "Nearly one week." "One week?" I nearly fell over backwards, I missed one week? Why was I feeling so strong, fit, despite missing food and drinking for almost one week? They must have taken good care of me. "Yes, you lost a huge amount of blood, therefore you needed the rest." Remembrances from my first come round came to my mind, Hajime telling me that he had to leave. "Where is my husband?" They looked rather sheepish, I got suspicious, something was wrong. "What about the baby?" "You should rest." This diversionary manoeuvre was too obvious, they were hiding something, I knew I lost it. "WHAT ABOUT THE BABY, TELL ME!" Threatening by yelling at them would work, they were too innocent and inexperienced to handle me and my violent temper. "We are awfully sorry, you lost it." As I already expected, this was hard, but it would not kill me. The time between realising that I had been pregnant and losing the baby had been too short to be upset now, in addition to that I had Yoshinori in back-mind the whole time. It wasn't a great loss, I would have another child with time, which led me to the next question. "Where is Hajime?" They evaded my eyes, "Saitou-sama will be back soon, there is no need to be worried." Terrible bad liars, not able to mask their emotions, evading my eyes told me enough. Was everything all right with him? Was he still alive? Where had he gone to? Did he leave me? Surely not. No need to be worried? If it was necessary to mention it, then there was a reason to be concerned. "If there is no need to be worried, you can tell me where he is!" Evading my eyes again, they would try to lie this time, for sure "He is patrolling, he will be back soon." I felt anger rising, who do they thought I was? An idiot? I wanted to see him, speak to him, NOW. "TELL ME WHERE HE IS!" My aggressiveness threatened them, intimidated them, they hadn't seen this side of me before, they stepped back, frightened enough to tell me what I wanted to know. "There is some trouble with the Ishinshishi, they all left to fight them." Trouble with the Ishinshishi? Hajime left to fight them? This was dangerous! Was he still alive? I would have to go and find out. "WHERE ARE THEY FIGHTING? BE A BIT MORE INFORMATIVE!" They exchanged glances, they must have been ordered not to tell me, but I was threatening enough that they gave me the information I wanted to have. "As we know in the eastern part of Kyoto." I jumped up, driven by my worries and sorrows and started to dress while they watched me. One girl approached me reaching out one arm, trying to force me back onto the futon, this wouldn't work with me. "You should stay in bed, Saitou-san, you are too weak, you lost too much blood." "NO!" I yelled at her, she retreated as quickly as she was able to do. Hajime was the last person alive in this world important for me. It was then, I realised how much I loved him, how dependent of him I was. My fears, my sorrows pushed me even more now, I finished dressing while the girls continued watching me with wide-opened eyes, they were scared by me. I set off for eastern Kyoto, I knew when I reached the fighting area, I smelled the blood and saw the first corpses lying around. This was a massacre, the blood was standing in the streets, it began to flow down to the lower parts of it were it gathered in a growing pool. I had never seen so many dead corpses lying around before. Was Hajime among them? I started to examine the Shinsengumi who looked like him, one had the right stature, but he hold his sword in the wrong hand, the right one, not worth a closer examination. This one had the fitting figure and the right hair, I turned him on his back, I had to clean his face with the sleeve of my kimono, he was not recognisable with the already viscous, sticky blood on it, it was enough left of the face to tell it was not Hajime. I continued scanning the area, luckily not many of the Shinsengumi had his height. There was a head, who was he? I picked it up by its pony-tail, inspected it, it turned around its axis hanging in the air freely. The wrong eyes. Carelessly dropping it back to the ground. Perhaps he was only wounded, still able to answer? I started to yell. "Hajime?" No answer, maybe this was the wrong area? I continued to walk around, my sandals were soaked with blood, every-time I lifted one feet and sat it back into the pools of blood they smacker-ed, the sandals sticked to the socks on my feet by the half-dried, coagulated blood. There was one, it could be Hajime, not enough left of the face to tell who he was. But if only one week past, then Hajime would still have the wounds from Yoshinoris kunai and shuriken, I nervously opened the kimono, no wound on the right shoulder, relief. I reached the next street, yelling again "Hajime!" The corpses in this street were either Ishinshishi or had the wrong stature, Hajime wasn't among them. "Hajime!" "You are waking the dead and attracting more attention than necessary, Tokio." My heart nearly stopped beating hearing his voice, where was he? I scanned the surroundings, there he came around the next corner, obviously not very pleased to see me here, coldly addressing me as he stood in front of me "What are you doing here? You are supposed to stay in bed." I was relieved that he was alive to such an extent that his behaviour didn't put me off, I moved closer, embraced him and looked up into his face "I wanted to see you." He wasn't returning the hug, I didn't mind, I just wanted to be close to him, feel that his body was warm, living, his heart beating and his breathing. "You should stay in bed." He really was stubborn, I wasn't able to tolerate loosing the baby and him. "I couldn't. I wanted to know if you are still alive." He narrowed his eyes, he didn't like the idea of me running around and being in danger. "You are not safe here." I knew that, he didn't need to tell me, was this his only concern? Did he really care for ME? "You heard what happened with the baby?" NOW he looked down on me with concern in his eyes and laid his arms around me "Yes." "It was my fault." "There is a real chance for us to have another child, Tokio." NOW he smiled down at me. "Thank you, Hajime." I snuggled closer, I always felt very secure around him. "Let's go home." He started to leave, I followed him as close as possible. "Hajime?" He turned a bit around, waiting for me to continue "You lost this fight with the Ishinshishi, or not?" "You are right, we lost." A thoughtful expression appeared on his features, we both knew that serious changes would come, the last hope was Tokugawa with his army. "But it is worth continuing to fight." A smirk spread over his face "You are right, Tokio. Come on, let's go home." As we stood in front of the house we both instantly knew that something was wrong, it was suspicious quietly. Hajime indicated me to stay behind him while he drew his sword and cautiously entered the building. Directly behind the entrance one of the girls was lying. She had a dagger between her eyes, they were staring into distance, empty, lost. I wouldn't hear her silly comments and laughter anymore.Some steps away was the second girl, she was cut through the throat, her eyes were closed. Remembering them admiring my hairpin, tasting my crepes, laughing with them, cheering me up. Innocent. They had been innocent, not any longer. The cruelty of reality had reached them before they died. Even I threatened them in their last hours, they hadn't been important for me, they were just two girls, who had been around and had been useful. But I had been nasty to them in their last hours and I was not able to make up for it. On the way upstairs the first child was lying, the abdomen was cut up, the usual bad smell of opened intestines was in the air, some blue-bottles buzzed around, some had already settled down. It must have happened a while ago. Hajime slide the door to the first room open and blocked the entrance. I jumped up to cast a short glance into the room, but he closed the door determined before I was able to have a look around and he turned to me seriously "Please go downstairs and wait for me. I'm sure they won't come back." He re-sheathed his sword, the assassins wouldn't come back, their job was done. I have never seen him this serious before and decided it would be wise to do what he wanted, I didn't want to see a sight that he considered not to be meant for me. While I headed towards the steps, he addressed me again "Tokio?" I turned, looking questioningly at him, he reached out one arm to indicate me to come back to him. As I was in his range he pulled me close "It was a good idea to look for me. I'll catch our things, please wait." I nodded against his chest, inhaling his scent deeply before I walked downstairs and waited for him, it didn't take him long, we owned only a few things besides the weapons and my books. He came down the steps, the box with our belongings settled on his back, in his one hand he had clean clothes for me. I knew what he planned to do, we would go to another house in different district where we would met Hijikata, Kondou and the other remaining members of the Shinsen-gumi. I changed in the fresh clothes, it were Soushi's, and picked up some fresh sandals at the entrance, mine were soaked with blood. The owner wouldn't mind anymore, she was dead. Why was Hajime still around? Why didn't he drop me like a hot potato? I was nothing but trouble for him, not following his orders, yelling at him, opposing him, fighting him. Most times for fun, I admit. "Hajime" he turned looking questioningly at me "You really didn't leave me as you promised after Soushi's death." "There was no reason." He turned back, leaving me dump-folded behind. There was no reason to leave me? My parents were dead because of me, he had nothing but trouble with me during a time he had more important things to concentrate on than to take care of a wife and endure her unstable moods. The trouble he had because of me with Yoshinori, the injuries he got because of me, the times I hurt him emotionally, because of me we lost our first baby. The only interesting thing might be the bed-time-events, I thought. Obviously I was wrong. He actually liked me the way I was, there was more behind it than pure attraction. "What are you waiting for, Tokio?" I jumped forward onto his hips, the box on his back was in my way, I didn't care. "Hajime, there is no chance you'll ever get rid of me." By a look in his face I saw a painful expression and suddenly remembered the kunai that had hit him exactly on the spot I was sitting on. "I'm afraid so, yes. Get down, I can't carry you AND the box." Before climbing down I placed a kiss on his cheek "I admit, you are right. The box is too heavy." A huge smile appeared on his face looking down on me AFTER I was back on the ground and had left his wounded side. "Come on, let's go." We set off for the northern part of Kyoto to meet the others. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ahrg! English is killing me, next time I write in German!! I always know which time and vocabulary I have to choose! Sorry again to all native speakers! I apologise again!! Ja ne, Mara