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And I got no choice, no, I got no choice at all

I'll say it again

L is for LOVE, baby
O is for O yes I do
V is for VIRTUE, so I ain't gonna hurt you
E is for EVEN if you want me to
R is for RENDER unto me, baby
M is for that which is MINE
A is for ANY old how, darling
N is for ANY old time


words by Nick Cave (Song: "Loverman", CD: "Let love in")

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CHAPTER5: CONFRONTATION2

WARNING: LEMON ahead, it will be rewritten soon, as the first


I reached out for the kimono once more, why would someone give me such a 
wonderful 
present? No one, except my parents had ever given me something without wanting 
something 
back.

I picked up the kimono and held it in front of me, inspecting it. Dark blue is 
not a 
common colour for a kimono and silver butterflies, only a few, only on one 
sleeve? He had
'hit' my taste directly and had chosen a 'perfect' one.

This was the most precious and fitting present I was given in my entire life. 
Did he know?
How much did he already know about me?

"That is wonderful Saitou. It is so.." I was out of words.

"Don't be silly, that's a kimono, nothing special. You are a woman after all. 
What a fuzz
about something to wear."

He was lying. THIS one was special, it was dark blue and had silver butterflies 
on it. He 
must have searched whole Kyoto for the silk and must have scared the scissor to 
death to 
get it ready for today.

I laid the kimono carefully back on the table, he was still standing beside me 
against the
paper-wall, he had finished the cigarette and looked bored. He WOULD HAVE 
something 
special, it was time now.

I stood up in front of him "Saitou-san?"

He raised an eyebrow "What is it?"

I reached out with one hand, touching his cheek, he revealed no emotion on his 
face.

"Thank you very much! That is wonderful, I love it!"

"No one could oversee that." Still he looked not interested at all. 
Come on, Saitou, you couldn't tell me, you had spent all that money and were not 
satisfied 
that I was pleased. It had to be possible to get SOME EMOTIONS out of him, to 
scatter his
self-control.

LEMON STARTS------------------------------------------------------------------

I moved closer nearly touching him with my body and lifted my head watching him 
through
my eye-lashes.

"Have you ever paid for a 'special' service?"

That wiped him out of his stupor a bit, I felt the hair in his neck raising and 
his voice 
was getting rough "No."

I moved even closer, let my hand wander under his kimono, my other hand under 
his hakama, 
touching his intimate parts.

"You should have done that. I can ensure you, you will enjoy this trip."

Now his stupor was washed away, he threw his arms around me, he kissed me hard 
on my mouth,
forcing me with his tongue to open it and kissed me even harder. 
What would he do after the 'service'?

He had already managed to open my obi, but he pressed me so hard against him, 
that it did 
not hit the ground.

I pushed him back, it fell down, my kimono opening in the front. His eyes began 
to 
gleam in the darkness, seeing parts of my body exposed.

I stepped closer "Please relax and enjoy!" I looked him deep in his eyes 
"And never forget: I do this only for you, nobody else." 
He had to swallow, he wasn't able to answer anymore, a good result for my first 
try.

"Relax, sit down and enjoy" I shoved him to a box standing in front of a wall 
and placed 
him down on it. He was not able to turn his gaze away from my face.

I approached him, laid my hand on his knees, parted his legs, dropped my kimono 
and knelt 
down between his legs. His ki changed, he began to realise what I was up to.

I let my hands wander up his thighs and opened the knot of his hakama. I traced 
with my 
left hand up to his waist and grabbed his kimono there. With my other hand I 
pulled his 
hakama down and touched his member. It was already swelling. Not very long and 
it would 
be VERY hard.

"Just relax and enjoy."

I leaned forward and massaged him with my breast. Feeling him harden I looked 
through some
strands of my hair up to his face. His eyes were wide open, looking down on me, 
his 
breathing got deeper, faster, his heartbeat quickened. I was sure, the next 
action would 
scatter his well-trained self-control away.

Prepare yourself, Saitou. His hands clinched to the sides of the box.

I moved back, removed my breast, taking him in my right hand. I licked my lips, 
stuck my 
tongue out and licked his tip. He gasped and tightened on the box.

I let my hand move up his shaft, my thumb turned in a circle around his tip and 
scooted 
down. I opened my mouth to take him full, his hands tightened on the sides of 
the box, it
began to crack. Holy shit. This would be expensive.

He looked down at me, fascinated. I fought the gag reflex, took him deeper in my 
mouth, my
hand caressing the rest of his shaft and his balls. I lifted my head and lowered 
it.
I switched between my right hand and my mouth, he just took pleasure in my 
doing, his 
breathing quickening.

I felt his hands on my head in my hair, pressing my head down on him. It turned 
me on, to 
see him like this. Completely lost and focused on his sex, I felt myself getting 
aroused.

"Oh, Gods, Tokio, don't stop." He managed to stutter out breathless. This seemed 
really to
be his first time, I could have imagined. Why to pay more for a pleasure? He 
just wanted 
sex to get rid of disturbing influences, that he could concentrate back on his 
duties. Sex
was nothing he cared for. Till now, I guessed.

He tightened one last time hissing slightly on the box, revealing his seed in my 
mouth, 
suppressing a cry. I lifted my head, letting him out and massaged him a while 
longer with 
my fingers. I looked deep in his eyes, he gazed down at me. I opened my mouth a 
bit, 
licked away the traces of his sperm and swallowed. 

He was still breathing hard, sweat running down his reddened face. He looked so 
damn 
attractive and sexy! I stood up and sat down on his lap, he was obviously done 
with the 
world, exhausted, but I was not satisfied yet!

I let my legs hang down on each side, took one of his hands and placed it over 
my centre.

"Please, Saitou-san!" I whispered in a pleading tone. He would not have to do 
much, I was 
near my own climax.

He caressed my clitoris and entrance and paused. What was he waiting for? I 
needed 
that right now! I was sure my eyes gleamed already, a dangerous temper 
appearing, I 
grabbed his kimono, pulled him nearer and whispered through my clenched teeth.

"Enter or you are in BIG trouble!" I must have looked real threatening, he did 
what I told
him, he used his middle finger and pushed it down, inside me.

Oh god, that felt great! He moved his finger in and out soon joined by a second 
finger. 
Reaching out my hands, I grabbed his head, pulled him closer, threw my own head 
back and 
moaned.

"Come on, go on, that's wonderful!" His other hand supported my back, he started 
to 
massage my clitoris with another finger.

"God, Yes!" I screamed, that was more than I was able to handle. He smiled, 
seeing my last
self-control vanishing and continued caressing my most intimate parts.

"YES!" I yelled, I felt myself contracting around his fingers and my hands 
tightened in 
his hair.

"AAA!" He screamed too. What was that for? This was MY climax!

"What was that for Hajime? What is wrong?" I wanted to know breathless.

"You ripped out some of my hair, Tokio! Watch what you are doing!"

A smile plastered on my face, I took his hand out of me, lifted it to my mouth 
and licked 
his fingers clean, while looking deep in his eyes. He seemed fascinated, 
watching me.

"It is your fault, giving me so much pleasure and taking away my control, 
Saitou-sama."

He rushed me in his arms and pressed me against his chest.

"You are special, Tokio!"

I caressed his hair and whispered in his ear "Let's go to sleep."

LEMON END----------------------------------------------------------------------

I continued my training with Okita after the marriage and it happened only a few 
days 
later.

We were in the middle of a difficult kata, I tried to master the basic Gatotsu, 
the
technique Saitou used, I was focused and attacked Okita.

"Kya!" I slammed my katana down, where was his defence?

"Cough, cough" He coughed so hard, he was not able to raise his hand with his 
sword. In 
the last moment I managed to through the katana forward, missing his shoulder 
only a few 
centimetres.

"Cough, cough" He did not stop, he fell on his knees and began spitting blood.

THIS was starting to worry me. He had coughed earlier during our sessions, he 
was ill, I 
knew that, but this was worse.

"Soushi! What is wrong?" I was near a panic now, I embraced him to support him 
and he 
leaned against me.

"It is nothing, Tokio, nothing to worry about!" IDIOT, you were lying!

"I'm afraid I have another opinion. YOU GO IN YOUR BED AT INSTANT! I'll go and 
catch a 
doctor!" He tried to protest, but he was too weak. I managed to get him on his 
feet, 
upstairs into his room and helped him to lay down. He was coughing the whole 
time, 
spitting blood several times.

"I'll be back soon, relax!" He nodded, he was too exhausted to answer me.

I rushed outside in my training outfit and looked frantically around for a 
doctor. 
Our house was empty, so I asked some people on the street. They must have 
thought I was 
nuts, running around, shouting for a doctor and they evaded me or gave me no 
answer. 
Stupid idiots! I needed a doctor right now! 

Finally I managed to find one by myself, I rushed inside, not caring about 
formalities and
shit like that. They all stared wide-eyed at me. Aa, there he was, he looked 
scared at me.

"You have to come with me!" I announced without introducing and other 
circumstances.

"Aa, oo, aa,.." he wasn't able to speak or form a clear thought. Japanese. 
Couldn't handle 
temperament and being pulled out of their usual business. Time to scare him 
more.

"You don't want to have trouble with the Shinsengumi, the Miburo, do you?" I 
shook him 
to underline my words, I bet he thought his end was near.

"Aa, oo,... NO, NO!" Aa, there we go! I shook him harder.

"Then come with me at instant!" I grabbed a box with medicine lying on a table 
and dragged
him onto the street, pulling him on his arm behind me.

The people in the clinic remained dump-folded on the same spot, wide-eyed, mouth 
still 
opened, following us with their glances.

I loosened my grip on the doctor when we stood in front of Okita who was lying 
on 
his futon his face deadly pale.

"Here is your patient, doctor!" I shoved him nearer to Okita, who continued to 
cough, but 
laughed at the doctor's expression.

"Tokio, what have you done to the poor man! Sorry, doctor, she loses sometimes 
her temper 
a bit. Nothing to worry about."

The doctor nodded, visibly relieved to have a 'normal' patient and started to 
examine 
Okita. I stood beside him during the examination, hopping impatiently from one 
foot to 
another. Finally the doctor finished, put his things back in his box and stood 
up.

"What is it? What is wrong? Is it serious?" I began to scare him one more with 
my rude 
behaviour, my direct speech and my wild temper.

"Hm, I'm afraid, yes."

"What?" He was dead! He was a doctor, he had to cure him, I began to shake him.

"Ma, ma. Tokio, calm down, he is not responsible!" Okita coughed between his 
laughs. 
"What is it doctor? TOKIO, LEAVE HIM!"

Okita was right, the doctor was not responsible for his illness, I loosened my 
grip and 
stepped back, lowered my eyes, bowing deep.

"I'm very sorry, doctor, I'm sorry."

He visibly didn't feel safe in my company, but Okita assured him to go on.

"It is tuberculosis. I can do nothing about it. You have a few weeks left." He 
spoke as 
fast as he was able to and fled the room, obviously afraid of me.

I stood there dump-folded. NO! NO! Not again! Not another person near me died 
and I could
do nothing about it. I felt tears raising and rushed forward to embrace Okita to 
find 
comfort in his arms.

"No, Soushi! Don't leave me! You are important for me!"

"Ma, ma, Tokio. I was afraid it would be serious and I knew I would die. Please 
calm down 
and don't tell Saitou."

I chuckled from my suppressed cries and tears "I promise."

He cupped my face and forced me to look in his eyes "This is serious, Tokio, 
promise."

Why he didn't want to tell Saitou? "I promise, Soushi!"

He pulled me back in his embrace and I tried to think about something different, 
not to 
burst out in tears. NO, I wouldn't cry! There was something I wanted to know, 
perhaps this 
was the right time to ask him

"Why did you start to train me?"

"Aa,.." he started..

WUMM, the whole shouji was slammed open, it was ruined, Saitou was standing in 
the now 
damaged entrance.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?" I was shocked to the bones, I wasn't able to 
move, Okita 
was rooted to the place also.

Saitou grabbed me around my neck ripping me out of Okita's embrace and slammed 
me into the
next paper wall, I found myself in the next room among some Shinsengumi with 
their wives. 
Everyone was rooted to his place, nobody was capable of moving or speaking.

Saitou approached Okita and punched his fist in his face. "STAY AWAY FROM MY 
WIFE. SHE IS 
MINE!"

That was enough. Okita was ill and he punched him for being my friend? He 
couldn't decide 
with whom I talked and had fun. I WAS HIS ? No way! I was not a thing which 
someone can 
own! I was no ones property! He was SO in for it. He would pay!!

I stood up, I knew my eyes were gleaming and I looked threatening. 

"MORON!" I yelled at the top of my lungs and approached him. "You are an IDIOT, 
Hajime!" 
He turned and faced me, his eyes reflecting golden.

The Shinsengumi around me fled as fast as they could, outside the room, I 
guessed they 
even left the house. This was going to be serious.

"YOU STAY QUIET, TOKIO!" He stepped closer, threatening me.

"YOU CAN'T FORBID ME TO TALK! I'M NOT ONE OF YOUR DAMN UNDERLININGS YOU COMMAND 
AROUND!" 
If this was possible, he looked even more threatening.

"YOU STAY QUIET AND STAY IN OUR ROOM AWAY FROM OKITA!"

We were shouting down the whole house, I believed they heard us on the other end 
of Kyoto.

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO SO!"

"OH; YES I CAN!"

"COME ON HAJIME, COME ON! TRY!" I had to admit, I saw this coming from the 
beginning, but 
there was no way to cool my temper and to stay quiet. He was gone to far. I was 
prepared 
for the impact, but I underestimated the strength he was using, hitting me on my 
cheek.

I flew across the room, through the next wall, down on the street. We were on 
the first 
floor, I had a hard impact on the mud in the street. My cheek burned, my spine 
ached. 
ENOUGH! I stood up and started to walk down the street, ignoring his yells. 

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