Standard disclaimers:
I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.

Oh MY GOD! Mara is gone insane! We'll have a mainstream song-text! Blame Noa for 
that!

Sarah Connor: "From Sarah with love"

ON WITH THE STORY:
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For so many years we were friends and yes,
I always knew, what we could do
But so many tears in the rain felt
The night you said that love had come to you

I thought you were not my kind
I thought I could never feel for you
The passion of love you were feeling
And so you left for someone new

And now you are far and away,
I'm sending a letter each day
"From Sarah with love"

So maybe the chance for romance
It's like a traitorous catch, before it's gone
And I'll keep her waiting and dreaming
You're strong enough to understand

As long as you are so far away,
I'm sending a letter each day,
"From Sarah with love"

(Sorry, the context to understand is missing, 
but I'm in the mood for this song. I'm still 
running around in circles because of Noa)

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CHAPTER9: OKITA'S DEATH 

WARNING: as usual: violence and lemon 


I dressed in Soushi's clothes, Saitou's clothes were definitely too large for 
me, it would
be less suspicious than dressing in a kimono. Furthermore I could take the 
swords with me. 

We set off for the woods, Saitou was dragging Okita with him, I supported him on 
the other
side, the weather was still hot and muggy, we were soaked in sweat after heading 
down the 
streets and entering the forest.

We walked deeper into the woods and looked for a good place, secluded, hidden, 
we didn't 
want to be discovered. Finally we found a small clearing, perfect for our plan. 
We helped 
Soushi to sit down, he was exhausted, coughing, breathing heavy. 

Why was it so hot and muggy? Sweat was running down my face as well as Saitou's 
and 
Soushi's. My clothes were soaked with sweat and heavy from the high humidity.

Saitou longed in his sleeve, revealed a cigarette, put it into his mouth and 
lightened a 
match. My eyes bulged out of their sockets. What was this idiot thinking this 
was?
A picnic? 

I made up to him, snatched the cigarette out of his mouth, flung it to the 
ground and 
stamped the cigarette in it. Soushi actually laughed at Saitou's expression, who 
stood 
there, dump-folded, the lightened match in his hand till it burned his fingers.

"Ouch! What was that?" The match fell to the ground. It was the day, I decided 
to educate 
him and pound some manners into him.

"AAAAAA! You are such an insensitive moron! What do you think is this? A party? 
Can't you 
at least be a bit more considerate?" 

I turned my back to him and knelt down by Soushi's side, who was still chuckling 
despite 
his near end.

I embraced him "Please, Soushi, don't leave me alone with this insensitive 
idiot."

"Maybe in our next life, Tokio. But I'm afraid there is no possibility in this 
one."

Saitou stepped closer, a concentrated look in his eyes.

Soushi looked up to him "I hope you two behave, when I'm not around and you 
don't tear 
down the whole house." I squeezed him "I'll miss you, Soushi."

Soushi smiled evilly at Saitou "Next life she'll probably be my wife, 
Saitou-san."

I squeezed him even more "Stop making bad jokes, Soushi. I'll never forget you."

"How do you want to end it, Okita-kun?" Saitou. Straight to the point.

"As honourable as possible, that is all I can ask for."

I knelt down behind him, laid my hands on his shoulders and supported him, that 
he was 
able to sit upright, Saitou knelt down in front of Soushi, facing us. 

Soushi longed for his wakizashi, tried to draw it, he was already to weak. I 
laid one hand
over his, helping him to draw the sword and placed my hand back on his shoulder. 
He would 
not be able to handle the sword, he was barely in the position of holding it.

Saitou stretched out both hands, laying his hands on Soushi's. Did I really want 
to see 
this? I tightened my grip on Soushi's shoulders, as the short sword entered his 
lower part
of the body, he stiffened in my grip. 

They led the sword up to his chest, cutting him up, the traditional suicide. He 
twitched, 
I pulled him closer to me, his back lying on my chest, I looked in his face, he 
had a 
peaceful expression, smiling, the end of his suffering was near.

"Thank you both." Saitou drew his own wakizashi and cut Soushi's throat.

He still twitched, I could see the intestines moving a last time, I caressed his 
cheek, 
his eyes clouded, the last thing he saw was my face, before he finally closed 
his eyes. He
twitched one last time, Soushi was dead. 

I was prepared for this for some weeks now, despite this I felt tears raising 
up, 
remembering our time together.

***flashback***

Our first meeting in the streets of Kyoto:
"Ma,ma. calm down."
"Remember, we are still looking for man like him."
Sitting in the pub with him and Saitou, discussing.

Looking in his face during the marriage meeting.

Soushi smiling warmhearted at me in the eating room, after my first night with 
Saitou:
"How inconspicuous." I whispered to him.
"You two were loud enough. You waked up the whole house. Your clothes were 
scattered 
everywhere." He whispered back.
"That was nothing special. They should concentrate on their own business."
"Believe me, THIS was special."

Soushi standing in the dojo:
"You need to improve your speed during the first step!"
"It is based on offence."
"You have to judge your opponent and not to overestimate yourself."

Soushi giving my company and guidance during my wedding.

Our fateful session after the marriage:
"Cough, cough" He wasn't able to defend himself.
"It is nothing, Tokio, nothing to worry about!" Spitting blood.

The horrified doctor and Soushi coughing and laughing:
"Tokio, what have you done to the poor man! Sorry, doctor, she loses sometimes 
her temper 
a bit. Nothing to worry about."
"Ma, ma, Tokio. I was afraid it would be serious and I knew I would die. 
Please calm down and don't tell Saitou."
"I promise, Soushi!"

Saitou stormed the room and punching his fist in Soushi's face and smacking me 
out of the 
house.

The talk with him in the temple area:
"I managed to calm down Saitou."
"He is your husband, Tokio, he has to take care of you. You behave stubborn and 
childish."

Earlier today:
"I can't die like this, understand me. Lying on a futon, suffering of a 
disease. This is no ending for a samurai like me."

Short before his death:
"Thank you both."

***end flashback***

"Tokio, we'll have to bury him." I felt a hand on my shoulder, I had my arms 
around 
Soushi's head, wrapped him, my face buried in his hair, Hajime was kneeling 
beside me.

No time being sad and depressed, we had some more things to do. I placed Soushi 
carefully 
on the ground.

I WON'T CRY! I stood up, looking up to Hajime, I grabbed his kimono, raised to 
the tip of 
my toes "Please, promise, you'll never leave me." 
Was I nuts? Why was I so sentimental? Something had to be wrong with my hormone 
balance.

He looked at me as if I'm crazy, I felt tears raising, when he suddenly embraced 
me.

He hugged me? I thought I was dreaming! "I promise."

We hugged each other for some minutes, I felt safe, comforted, before we turned 
to bury 
Soushi.

We knelt pious some minutes in front his grave before we prepared to leave.

I took Soushi's sword, they would get in the way when we would need to fight on 
our way
back, I was less skilled, minor important to be ready for battle.

We walked back in silence, didn't exchange one word, Hajime in front, me hard on 
his 
heels. People on the street evaded us, looked in another direction, we must have 
given 
them a scaring impression.

First thing I did when we reached our room, I placed the swords on a rack, they 
have been 
a weigh on my my mind, I wanted to get rid of them.

I felt Hajime's hand on my shoulder again "Tokio? Everything all right?"

NO, I was strong, I could stand this alone! I flicked away his hand, 
"Everything all right, no need to worry." 

I turned around, put on one of my fake smiles, Hajime seemed irritated. No, I 
was not 
strong, I couldn't pretend this any longer!

I grabbed his kimono, pulled him closer and buried my face on his chest. I was 
sure I 
demanded too much of him with my changing moods and my need for closeness, but 
he placed 
his arms around me, to comfort me. 

It was so wonderful to be so close to someone, I let myself fall completely, 
inhaling his 
scent, feeling the heat of his body near mine. 

For the first time I was not alone, not around someone I distrusted, after the 
death of a 
person close to me. I wanted to feel him even closer.

"Please make love to me." He looked questioning, irritated.

"I want to be as close as possible to you, feel your heat, feel your closeness, 
feel YOU. 
Please, Hajime."

I looked up to him, he loosened his grip around my waist, raised one hand, 
touched my 
cheek, caressed it.

"Tokio?" I waited for him to finish the sentence, he didn't, looking in my 
pleading eyes. 
Whatever he wanted to say, he didn't.

He raised his other hand, cupped my face and kissed me on my mouth, gentle.

I started to open the first knot of his kimono, the second knot, he was soaked 
with sweat 
as me from the weather.

I dropped to my knees, opening his hakama, embracing him around his knees, 
laying my head 
between his legs, pressing me against him.

He laid his hands on my head, he knelt down too. Placing one hand in my neck, 
kissing me 
again, more loving, more passionate, I never felt like this before in my life. 
Burning 
inside with one kiss. His other hand ran down to my chest, opening my kimono, 
wandering 
further down, opening my hakama. 

He never let me go, our mouth still fused, one of his hands in my neck and my 
hair, the 
other around my waist, pulling me close, pressing me against him. 

I leaned forward to lay him down on his back, placed myself on top of him.

We broke our kiss, looking each other deep in the eye as I moved down to let him 
enter. It
felt great. It was the feeling of closeness that let me feel this way, not the 
sex or 
climax itself. We were both bathed in sweat by now, at lot of laundry to do 
tomorrow.

I really hated to sleep clinched to someone, it felt always so uncomfortable and 
was 
disturbing when the other moved. This night I didn't mind, despite the muggy 
weather, I 
needed his presence as close as possible.

***

The next days I began translating the paper Yoshinori gave me and my feeling of 
uneasiness, fear got stronger. This paper was really hot stuff about trading 
contracts 
between a French merchant in Marseille and a Japanese merchant in Nagasaki.

I paid attention not to show the translation to Hajime, no need to hide the 
original, he 
wouldn't be able to read it anyway.

Furthermore I started to feel sick and my moods changed and swung more than 
usual, my 
reactions were unpredictable, poor Hajime. 

The country was still closed, but maybe the shogunate will lose in this 
revolution, the 
country would be opened to foreigners,.. 
But the paper was definitely the death sentence for this Japanese merchant and 
his family.
How had they been able to establish this connection?

Nagasaki was far away from Osaka, but it was still a risk. Anyhow, the content 
of the 
paper was clear, no misinterpretation possible. I needed two weeks to finish it, 
a lot of 
business and trade expressions in it, I had to clear this correctly, I didn't 
wanted them 
to get killed, based on a wrong translation.

Only one week left, till Yoshinori would come to get the translation, the 
feeling of 
uneasiness and discomfort got stronger and stronger.

High time to complete my equipment. It was late in the evening, Haime was on his 
round 
through Kyoto again. I dressed in kimono and hakama, I chose neutral colours, no 
need to 
be more conspicuous as I already was. Arranging my hair in a high pony-tail, 
mine and 
Soushi's wakizashi in my hakama, I left the house. I had saved enough money to 
buy what I 
was up to. 

I wouldn't been able to contact the ninja-group in Kyoto without drawing more 
attention on
me than neccesary, I would have to fend for myself. The streets seemed to be 
save and 
quiet, I reached the swords-smith I had visited on my second day in Kyoto 
without 
incidents.

I managed to persuade the swords-smith with some recommendation, some code words 
I had 
been told in Osaka and some extra money to hand me what I wanted.

I left him a bit more relieved, a bit more assured, I had the dagger I wanted, 
some 
shuriken and kunais. The shuriken and the kunais had been a real problem, but I 
was a 
really persisting and scaring person when I was up to something. I took me about 
two hours
to persuade him by scaring the hell out of him.

It was in the middle of the night now, the moon high in the sky, it seemed to be 
bloodied.
This was definitely a perfect night for killing on the streets, assassinations, 
a night 
for bloodshed, I could almost feel it.

A few minutes later the smell of blood reached my nose, as expected. Without 
giving it a 
second thought I headed into the direction. The smell of blood was intense, 
mixed with
the smell of intestines that had been cut up, I heard the cutting of metal 
through flesh, 
through bones, battle-cries, the last cries before death.

I came around the corner and stopped dead in my tracks, this was really a 
bloodshed. The 
hitokiri was cutting up the last man standing, his sword still high in the air 
from the 
last attack, he lowered the sword and started to clean it. I would recognise him 

everywhere, he was too similar to me. 

Battousai. In between us about fifteen dead men, some cut up, some cut through 
the throat,
some cut through the head.

I was sure he must have spotted my presence by now, two related souls will 
recognise each 
other everywhere at every time. I had to disturb him in a similar way as he 
disturbed me. 
Why did I feel safe in Hajime's company, but felt threatened in his aura?

There he turned, sheathing his sword, the bloodied moonlight shining on his face 
once 
more, staring at me.

'This can't go on forever like that, say something, Tokio!'

"Hello?" I put on a fake smile, knees shaking, sure he knew everything I was 
thinking, he 
could see through my disguise without any effort.

"It is you again!" Ha, he was capable of speaking, he stepped closer, he was 
alarmed, on 
guard, I was relieved that I dressed neutral.

"Yes." I stepped closer, on guard, paying attention if he would draw his sword, 
our gaze 
locked. We were trying to figure out, what the other one was up to. Wasn't he 
surprised 
to see me once in a kimono and the other time in man's clothes? Only a few steps 
divided 
us now.

"TOKIO!" Someone was yelling at me? I was distracted, closed my eyes for a 
second.

"TOKIO!" I opened my eyes again, Battousai had vanished, someone grabbed my 
wrist, turned 
my around and shook the hell out of me, it was Saitou.

"What the hell are you doing in the streets? Are you nuts? Going outside alone? 
Didn't I 
tell you to stay at home?"

I needed a second to gather my thoughts "I wanted to have a walk through the 
streets."

I felt he was fuming mad at me, dragging me home behind him. Damn, I got myself 
into 
trouble everywhere!

When we reached our house, he grabbed me around my waist, threw me over his 
shoulder, 
ripped of my sandals and carried me up to our room, where he dropped me roughly. 
He was 
still fuming mad.

"TOKIO; ARE YOU NUTS?" What was that for an introduction and tone? Who he 
thought he was?

"DEFINITELY NOT!"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THERE?" Couldn't he use other words?

"Enjoying the fresh air and Kyoto by night."

"ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE?" What? I was definitely not insane!

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Gods, I pissed him off! I couldn't keep my mouth 
shut, I 
couldn't stand this any longer. 

I ran outside, heading for the kitchen, fetched some food and sat down in the 
eating room 
among some other Shinsengumi, fuming mad now.

I knew exactly when he entered the room, I had sat down with my back to the 
entrance, but 
I saw the other holding their breath, NOW.

"DON'T RUN AWAY WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Enough! This commanding words and 
voice drove 
me crazy.

I took the tray with rice-bowl, tea-cup and fish-plate on it, turned and threw 
it with all
my strength at him. 

The rice-bowl hit the head of a Shinsengumi sitting in the way, the tea spilled 
over a 
second man and the fish hit the face of the wife of the second man. 
Hajimeevaded the tray. 

AAAAAA! I threw my chop-sticks, too. Useless. AAAA!

"TALKING? YOU CALL THAT TALKING? YOU WERE YELLING AT ME AT INSTANT, INSULTING 
ME!"

"TOKIO; STAY QUIET!" He came closer, threatening, grabbed me by my kimono, 
pulled me 
closer, his eyes gleamed, the others fled the room as fast as they could. 
Something snapped inside me. 

I was sure, he was only concerned about me, why had I lost my temper again? He 
wasn't able
to show his concern in a appropriate way and I reacted childish. Maybe he was 
right being 
mad and yelling at me. I calmed.

"I didn't meant it this way, Hajime."

Looking deep in my eyes and seeing the regret there, he seemed to calm too.

We had our forth talk with Kondou.

***

"We apologise, Kondou-sensei." We both bowing deep, Kondou sighing, the two men 
from the 
eating room by his side.

"Tokio-san?" Kondou was definitely the end of his tether. It was early in the 
next 
morning, we all were tired. Again, the first step that led to this escalation 
had been
my fault.

Bowing, saying "I'm sorry, Kondou-sensei. It was my fault. I was on the streets 
last night
and got into some trouble with the Ishinshishi and Saitou-san found me." 

Hajime swallowed, Kondou's eyes nearly bulged of their sockets, the others 
looked 
astonished. I had four men against me, no chance to succeed. Kondou re-gained 
control, 
raising an eyebrow at Hajime before addressing me

"Tokio-san, what for heaven's sake have you done in the middle of the night in 
the 
streets? You know it is dangerous."

"I can't tell, I'm sorry, Kondou-sensei." Now I had managed to flip his lid. 

He grabbed me by my kimono, shaking me to oblivion
"Is there some sense inside of you left, Tokio?" @_@ lying swirly-eyed on the 
floor, not 
able to answer. Kondou turned his attention to Hajime.

"Saitou-kun?"

"I thought she would be at home, when I suddenly heard noises of a fight on my 
round 
through the streets, I rushed forward, she stood in the middle of the street, 
about 
fifteen dead Shinsengumi around her. She could be dead by now. I assume it was 
Battousai." 
Kondou fuming mad, Hajime annoyed again, the eyes of the others bulging out of 
their 
sockets. I re-gained full consciousness and wished to faint again.

"Tokio-san, apologise." I was expecting that.

"There was no need to be so rough to me!" 'Tokio, learn to keep your mouth 
shut!'

"APOLOGISE!" Kondou exploded. 

"I'm sorry, Saitou-san."

"Second point: Why were you yelling at each other and scared the men in the 
eating room? Tokio-san?" 

"He was very rough, dragging me through the streets, yelling at me, I wanted him 
to be 
more gentle."

Kondou managed with a self-control I admired deep down inside, to remain quite 
calm.
"By yelling back, being sarcastic and throwing a tray at him?"

Huh, the situation was very bad. For a second I considered to mention that I was 
from 
Osaka, but he looked so threatening, no need to tell me what to do. 

Bowing, saying "I apologise, Saitou-san. I apologise, Kondou-sensei. I apologise 
for 
hitting you two and your wife with the food, I'm sorry." 
Still bowing, eyes locked to the ground.

"Saitou-kun, apologise!" Hey, I wasn't expecting this, Hajime obviously not 
also.

"Why?" 

Kondou sighing "Don't question me, Saitou-kun! For being rough to her? I don't 
know 
exactly, apologise, I want to get rid of this."

Hajime bowing in front of me "I'm sorry, Tokio-san." AAAA! It felt better with 
every time.

Kondou looked desperately at the two men by his side, raising an eyebrow, 
questioning

"We want them to have their own eating room, we want to finish our meals quietly 
and in 
peace." 

Kondou sighing deep "I'll see what is possible. You can leave, you two."

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