Standard disclaimers: As you all know, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Unfortunately Watsuki and some big name companies do. Warning as always: Mayor grammar and vocabulary mistakes might be ahead, hopefully you are not distracted by them. Maybe OOC for your taste, no idea, but I don't want to be flamed by 'hundreds' of Saitou- 'fans'. Take it easy! WAITING Two boys teared open a sliding door and charged into an almost empty room where a woman with long black hair was kneeling in front of a table writing in a journal. The first, younger one, stopped directly behind her, excitedly moving and blurting out his 'discovery' instantly "Mum, a new shop opened near the Kobayashi's house! They are selling sweets." The other, seeming older, cast a glance at his brother. Had he not told him to stay quiet? "We want to walk across to have a look, please give your permission." Sighing the woman carefully laid the brush beside the journal on the table, turned around and showed her face. She was not an obvious beauty for her intelligence and strong character could clearly be seen in her features, therefore she did not have the soft facial expression of a common woman's face. Her face revealed an energy and a beauty that could only be seen with a second look. Judging from her strong personality and experience that reflected in her deep brown eyes, she had to be older than she appeared to be. "Please, you two! Stop running around. Causing a mess and yelling won't get you anywhere." "Can we go? Please, Mum." "Of course, you can." She ruffled her younger son's hair and had to smile about his annoyed face, he hated to be treated like a small child. She addressed her older son. "Have an eye on him and be careful." Annoyed both boys left the room murmuring and grumbling about an 'over-worried' mother, who watched them leaving, smiling lovingly. Relieved to be alone for some hours she turned back to her writings. Looking down on the black symbols on the white paper she remembered why she had started writing after her marriage fifteen years ago. Back then it seemed a good idea to write down her thoughts, her feelings. But so much had changed since then. Had changed since she thought she would have to deny her feelings. Now feelings had changed not the surroundings as she had assumed. Life had taken another curse. She crossed her arms in front of her chest tightly and hugged herself closing her eyes, dreaming about her past. * 15 years ago * A man and a woman standing alone in the middle of a room hugging each other, the woman dressed in a bridal kimono. The man laid a hand under her chin, turned her face up to him. "I must leave now, Tokio." She spent all her tears in the endless nights before, not a single tear formed in her deep brown eyes in the moment she had feared so much. "I know, Kingo." "I promise, I'll come back when your obligations end." A sad, but hopeful expression appeared on her face. "I'll wait for this day to come." He bent over to kiss her a last time, desperately, fearful of leaving her, she returned the kiss with all the love and passion she held for him. Finally they broke their kiss and parted. "Good-bye, Tokio." "Good-bye, Kingo." The man left the room through the sliding door backwards, never turning, the woman remained at the spot in the middle of the room following him with her eyes till he disappeared in the darkness. ** As if to get rid of her memories Tokio shook her head, stood up and went to the kitchen to prepare some tea, happy being alone, not having the children around. She loved her little ones, but having peace and quiet was pleasant sometimes. She patiently waited till the water had cooled down and added the green tea, finally placing the tea-pot together with a cup on a tray, picking it up and carrying it back to her writings. "Anyone home?" A male voice was heard from the entrance, she knitted her brow and changed her direction, the tray still in her hand. She didn't expect a guest this afternoon, so who could it be? The woman headed towards the front door and greeted the unexpected, unknown intruder without having a closer look at him. "Good afternoon, can I help you?" She kept her head bowed, slightly irritated that the visitor did not answer. He was a tall man, slightly larger than her. His clothes indicated that he earned a good salary for the material was of an exquisite quality, his whole neat appearance indicated a well-off, cultivated merchant. What was such a man looking for in the house of a police-officer? she silently wondered. Gently, loving he addressed her by her given name "Tokio!" Finally she looked up to meet the eyes of her guest. Eyes in a friendly, honest, open looking face that seemed familiar, suddenly she recognised him. "Kingo!" The tray with the tea cup and pot on it fell out of her hands to the ground, scattering in thousand little pieces. Minutes passed in which they only stared at each other, too many years had passed since their last get-together. Years that parted them after they had been so close once, sharing feelings so deep only a few people are allowed to experience. Breaking the silence the man smiled "I found you." All his hopes came true. Finally he was standing in front of the woman he had wanted all this years, but he had to stand back on this fateful day fifteen years ago. On this day he had to watch her being married to another man, an order of her father. Timid she returned his smile, he was familiar but also strange at the same time "I'm afraid it wasn't easy." "No, changing your name several times made it actually difficult for me." Again an uncomfortable silence aroused "Please come inside, Kingo." She underlined her words with a wave of her hand but he looked down at the broken pottery lying between them. "Oh, I'll pick it up." Bending over she reached out for the first piece. "Let me help you." Surprised she watched him as he leaned forward picking up the pieces of the cup. In silence they gathered the remains and went to the kitchen were Tokio started to heat water for a new tea. "I didn't thought you would remember, Kingo." Lovingly with warm brown eyes, he watched every graceful movement of her, followed her with his eyes everywhere, never leaving her slender frame "How could I forget you? I promised I would come back after your obligations ended." "I didn't believe it. What we shared was too special to be true." "Yes, it was very special. It was something you only experience once in a life-time." She placed a new tea-pot and two cups on a tray, picked it up, indicating him with a move of her head to follow her. He would have done this anyway. She set down the tray between them and poured both of them some tea into the cups, again there was silence between them. Fifteen years divided them. He reached out a package with both hands, head bowed, wrapped in expensive paper, she gasped. "I have a present for you, Tokio." Hesitant she reached out taking the package, unwrapping it, it was a book, one she could never afford from the low income of her husband. "Thank you very much." She touched, caressed the book with her slender fingers. He cast a glance around noticing the set-up, judging it, displeasure spread inside him. They were not poor, but it was visible that her husband was not the best earning man in the world. A how much better life he would have been able to give her, the woman he loved over all these years. Anger raised inside him thinking of her father who refused his proposal and forced her to marry Saitou Hajime instead. Why had he let this happen? He watched as she carefully laid the book down by her side placing her hands back on her thighs. She appeared to be different from the woman he once knew. She was so full of life, energy, love back then. What did this man do to the Tokio he loved? Did he break her her will, her energy? He couldn't help but watch her, her elegant movements, her graceful built figure, her characteristic face, he was not able to speak. Something lacked, there was something missing INSIDE her. It was a rhetoric question, they both knew the answer, but she had to ask, her hope raising. "What do you want?" "Come with me, Tokio." Shocked about the direct answer her eyes widened, but her hands lying on her thighs clenched tightly in her kimono "It been fifteen years, how can you be sure?" The man reached out one hand over the tray and touched her cheek, lifting her head to force her looking at him "I've waited fifteen years for the day you would be able to leave him, Tokio. When you were married to him I wasn't able to interfere, your father didn't listen to me, in his eyes I was an insignificant insect. But now, your sons are old enough, your father is dead, there is no reason to stay with him any-longer. Your obligations end here. Come with me." Her hands tightened even more "But I'm married to him, I have to stay." "Why? You wasted fifteen of your best years with him, you gave up sharing your younger years with me, why shouldn't you have the right to spent the rest of your life together with me." Her hands still tightened in the fabric of her kimono, Kingo realised that she needed time to digest his unexpected appearance and caressed her cheek once more. "I still love you, I never loved any other woman than you, Tokio. I know that feelings for me are still running inside you, you can't deny an emotion as deep as this. Think about it, I'll be waiting for your answer at the inn down this street." She sat rooted to the spot while he left the room and the house. Fifteen years. Fifteen long years she had waited for this day to come, for Kingo coming back into her life. Fifteen lone years she spent with Hajime instead of him. Fifteen loving years filled with laughter, joy, affection, shared experiences, three children. But also filled with tears, hatred, arguments, anger, frustration, endless discussions for she wasn't someone who held back her opinion, conviction. Fifteen lively years of experience she shared with Hajime, fifteen years she would never be able to forget. She raised on her feet picking up the book and walked towards their room lost in thought, the book pressed against her chest, sliding the door open. The room she shared for fifteen years with him now, she looked up and stopped dead in her tracks. He was standing at the other door opened to the garden, leaning against it, his back facing her, smoking a cigarette. "You are home, Hajime?" "Seems so." "I.. I.. I'm sorry, I didn't noticed you coming home, I had a guest and..and.." "I heard you." She had to gasp for air. "I don't want to keep you, Tokio. You gave me fifteen years, that was more than I actually expected. I don't care, you can leave with him." He kept his back faced towards her, if he would turn she would be able to see his emotions, after so many years living with him she could tell from one look in his face what he was thinking. But he never turned, he continued smoking, his back turned to her. She stepped back through the door, out of the room, closing it behind her. What did she really want? Smiling she looked on the closed door, imagining her lone husband standing behind it. Fifteen years, her emotions had changed in these years. Careless she set the book down on a bench standing beside her, she left the house and walked towards the inn, certain about her decision. The man leaning in the opened door lowered his head. Taking a drag from his cigarette, inhaling he turned, thoughtfully looking at the door she had closed behind her. Exhaling. * Fifteen years ago * He was searching his new wife, there were still some ceremonies they had to go through, he heard voices in one room and stopped in front of it, reaching out one hand to open the door but he recognised one voice and his hand stopped half-way. Tokio was talking with a man inside, the moonlight shining though the rice-paper-walls showed the shadows of the two. He watched as they hugged each other, kissed and heard their promises and finally their good-byes. He went back to the ceremony waiting for his wife returning to him with a warm smile on her face. ** Back then he didn't care, she was his wife after all, why care about another man. But in fifteen shared years his attitude had changed, she had his respect and acceptance. Earned by intelligence, by her will to fight for her opinion and conviction, always well-grounded, well-thought-out in every discussion, argument they had, never being shallow. No, he smiled inwardly, he had to correct himself, sometimes she was shallow, but never about things they both considered to be important. After fifteen years sharing his life with her, she would go back to him, to the man he only knew through her eyes. Neither that he actually met him nor that she spoke of him, but he had seen it in her eyes. Every-time her eyes showed a burning fire, a love, a passion, a devotion deep inside her, he knew it was another man she was thinking of. He had never been able to touch her emotionally this deep, she never let this happen, there was always a place inside her she excluded him from. He knew she had feelings for him, but this deep? Remembering her holding their first son short after birth, a smile formed on his lips. She had been weak, exhausted but she didn't want to show it, especially not in front of him. She was holding their son in her arms, smiling proud and happy, he wasn't sure how to react to the small bundle and looked in her face. It was the first time he thought he would see love in her eyes for him, not for another man, but he was not sure. He had always been able to see through people, their emotions, motivations and reasons. Yes, finally he was convinced. She would leave. There was no rational and no emotional reason to stay with him. He was alone with his sons, he did not need to wait for her decision and her telling him. Being cool and off-putting towards her would make it easier for her to leave him. She deserved some years with the man she cared for so deeply. He flicked away the cigarette and headed towards the kitchen when his glance fell on a new book careless lying on a bench. Again a small smile appeared around his lips, he would never be able to predict her decisions. After fifteen years she was still able to surprise him. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- NOW: I hope it is clear: Will she stay or will she leave? For those who want to know, read chapter 2 =^^= First posted: 3rd March 2002 Revised and re-posted: 26th April 2002 Ja ne, Mara